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Decision Time

by Tan Yee-ming

How do you know you are making the right decision?

Anson, a sales manager at a logistics firm, has not been sleeping well for months. His firm merged with another last year and soon afterwards his boss, with whom he got on well, left the company.

His new boss doesn’t appreciate the contribution and culture of his team. He feels his new boss is trying to dismantle all the good things they had before.

He loved his work and got on well with his colleagues. His performance was recognised and he derived great pride and satisfaction from his job. Now he is so miserable he is considering leaving.

He has a dilemma. If he stays, he will continue to feel miserable and unmotivated, which is affecting his
work performance, psychological well-being and the quality of his life. If he leaves, he would only be doing so reluctantly. Why should he quit a job and a company he loves?

Anson is about to make a lifechanging decision. How will he know when he has made the right decision? Can he make a good decision when he feels stuck between a rock and a hard place? There appears to be only two choices, both equally undesirable. Whenever we need to pick between two undesirable possibilities, we feel badly about whichever decision we make. In such a situation, you can
use the four-options model to analyse what other choices are available.

Option 1: Change the situation. If Anson chooses to stay, he can proactively do something to make the situation better. He can talk to his boss and work with him to galvanise the whole team. He can seek help from colleagues who handled the merger transition well. He can consider transferring to another department.

Option 2: Change yourself. If he feels disempowered to change the situation, he can change himself. He can change his negative beliefs about the merger. He can change the way he feels about the boss.
Instead of complaining about the merger, he can learn to look for opportunities presented by the merger. He can learn to see the strengths of his new boss and learn from them. He can focus only on
situations within his control – ignore all the issues and focus on his job by staying away from the office politics and going out to engage his customers. Performance is the best way for him to demonstrate his
worth and contribution.

Option 3: Tolerate the situation. Tolerating the situation can also be a legitimate option, if the other three options are not viable. The goal is to identify strategies to make the process less painful and easier to bear. Can Anson see any humour in the situation? Can he be more lighthearted about the situation? Can he accept the situation and divert his attention to an interest or project outside work, or indulge in something he never had time to do because he was too busy with work?

Option 4: Leave the situation. The last option may be to leave the job. When considering this option, try to reach a good closure and look to the future with optimism and hope. It is not what happens to Anson but how he handles it that determines his emotional well-being. How can he reframe the situation to feel good about this decision? Can he see the advantages and benefits of his choice? What does he need to do to shift from a victim mindset? What does his future look like? What are his next steps? Every situation is different and every person is different. There is no one right answer.

This model enables one to explore all the options and pick the one that is right for him or her.

Tan Yee-Ming is an executive coach and founder of Third Thinking, and a member of the Hong Kong International Coaching Community (info@coachinghk.org)