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Looking back

by Pia Muggerud

We’ve come to that time of year again, when many of us start planning for the New Year and making resolutions. But before you go on to conquer the world in 2008, don’t forget to celebrate how far you have come this year.

As a coach, I advise my clients that contemplating the year that has passed is a must before making New Year resolutions. I always recommend looking back on the year to remember its successes, wins and accomplishments. It’s a chance to celebrate and to own who you have become and your achievements. It’s also a chance to ask what you have learned about yourself and your life, and what insights you have gained. True insights have the transformative capability to shift us into a new, more alive place: the new year.

Finally, ask what you are grateful for in your life right now from the year that has passed? It could be anything that you truly appreciate about yourself or others, in any area of your life. Whatever you appreciate and give thanks for will increase in your life; gratitude not only feels good, it also generates growth.

Most people enjoy growing and learning. Some even go so far as to say that to stop learning is to die, because it is cutting yourself off from life. When you know you’re learning and growing, a bigger sense of contribution to yourself and life in general is possible.

Making resolutions is like having a plan on how to move forward and stretch yourself. It’s not about focusing on what’s wrong with your life, although you can be honest with yourself about what purpose these negatives might have served in your life. It’s an opportunity to let them go, carry them forward or make a new promise.

When it comes to making resolutions, first decide on what you are truly committed to having in your life. Then think about why those things are so important to you and what the implications will be if you do not achieve them. Imagine yourself already having attained them and see how it makes you feel. How might having reached such goals make a difference to your life? Then anchor this feeling into your system.

Share your commitments with the people you’re close to. Let them know what’s at stake for you in pursuing these goals. Tell them how they can support you in your quest to get the life that you really want.

So, how should you plan your resolutions and how do you keep them? • When you set specific goals, you are more likely to succeed. Instead of saying that you want a raise, set the specific sum you want. With a target in sight, it’s easier to hit the jackpot. Think about where, with whom, when and how you’ll get it.

• Put things in writing. Write down exactly what you want to achieve and post your list in a place where you’ll see it every day. This will help remind you of what you’re working towards. State it in positive terms. The subconscious mind drops the word “not” out of sentences, so saying, “I do not want to be so judgmental this year”, is heard by the mind as “I do want to be…” It’s much more powerful and positive to say, “I want to be more accepting of others this year”.
• Develop an action plan. Create a timeline with steps towards your goal. Set deadlines for each step and cross them off as you go. Sometimes just crossing things off and watching your list get smaller can give you a sense of accomplishment and help you stay motivated.

Pia Muggerud runs Copia Coaching and is a member of the Hong Kong International Coaching Community(info@coachinghk.org)