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SIGNPOSTS
Lift the lid

by Lorraine Lee

Do any of these statements sound familiar to you? “I knew that was going to happen”; “I’m not worthy”; “That always happens to me.” They’re common examples of selflimiting beliefs that destroy
confidence.

Self-limiting beliefs are things you believe about yourself that put limitations on your abilities. They’re
not facts, although your mind believes them to be true. They can be conscious or unconscious. It’s the
inner-self-talk that holds you back from a challenge, a desire, a goal or whenever you’re faced with
something new. Our inner thoughts affect the way we see ourselves, the world and what we believe. Beliefs form our version of reality and in turn affect the way we make choices and decisions, how we behave, perform and how we live our lives.

Self-limiting beliefs stem from early experiences, such as things people have said to us that caused us
hurt and embarrassment, and form to help us cope and to protect us from being hurt again. When similar situations arise now, whether we realise it or not, such beliefs remind us of these old wounds and we confirm and acknowledge them, reinforcing their validity.

To deal with such beliefs, here are some suggestions:

• Awareness is the first step. When self-doubt emerges, ask yourself if it’s genuine uncertainty or a selflimiting belief: Does it help me go forward or does it pull me back? Am I undermining myself or my
ability even before trying? Who says I cannot? What’s stopping me? Where is the limiting belief coming from? When does this happen? Is there a pattern to how I approach similar situations? Getting to the source of a limiting belief is the best way to control it. Be honest with yourself.

• Build up positive selfempowering beliefs that are the opposite of self-limiting beliefs. Once you’ve begun to recognise your limiting beliefs and when you hear your negative self talk, you can start to make a conscious effort to replace them with positive self-beliefs such as:“Yes, I can do this”; “It is
possible”; “I know I’ll do a great job”. Think of past achievements and how you felt. You’ve been
through challenges before and you can do so again.

• Repeat affirmations to strengthen the positive beliefs as often as necessary to override the limiting
beliefs and help increase your selfconfidence. Let positive thoughts direct and influence you. When
you’re repeating these positive statements, visualise the success – see and feel your new state of
confidence, happiness and strength.

• Just do it. Don’t over-think or dwell on things. If you have a passion for singing, writing or cooking, go for it. Each time you try, you’ll improve and your confidence will grow.

• Focus on what you can do, not what you cannot. Even a small step forward is progress, so plan actions towards your goal. If you stop reinforcing the old ways, you won’t feed old limiting beliefs and they will gradually fade away. If you decide to be free from your limiting beliefs and not let them hold you back, they will lose their power over you. Selflimiting beliefs developed a long time ago and it is time to let them go.

• Surround yourself with positive people and things you love that can inspire, encourage and lift you up. We are usually hardest on ourselves. Remember that you can do anything if you put your mind to it.

Lorraine Lee is a member of the Hong Kong International Coaching Community(info@coachinghk.org)